Whether you’re in a new relationship or one that’s lasted for many years, you’re in a tough place. You and your loved one are having trouble communicating and resolving conflict. Small things seem to blow up into big fights. Or you experience long periods of painful disconnection. You’ve both realized you need help.
You love each other but find it hard to talk and connect. Your relationship is full of misunderstandings. There are times you don’t trust your loved one to be there for you. During times of conflict you see your partner as attacking and critical, or cold and uncaring. The two of you have become stuck in your negative views of each other.
You’ve tried to resolve these differences but you can’t seem to get on the same page. You want to be able to communicate what you feel and what you need but something gets in the way. As a result you’re both angry, lonely, and resentful.
At this point you’re both ready to do something to change this cycle you’re stuck in. Couples therapy helps you build a more trusting, secure, and loving relationship.
“Learning to love and be loved is, in effect, about learning to tune in to our emotions so that we know what we need from a partner and expressing those desires openly, in a way that evokes sympathy and support from him or her.” ― Sue Johnson
How Couples Therapy Helps
In couples therapy we will start by helping you reduce conflict and improve communication. By reducing blame of one another, couples begin to feel safer talking and connecting with each other.
As you start to feel better, we’re also going to work to understand how your relationship got to this point. When couples haven’t had a good model for relationships they feel stuck and adrift. So we’re going to explore both your family histories to understand how the past and present are connected.
As you and your partner learn more about each other you will be in a better position to change how you relate to one another. This process will also help you develop more empathy and understanding of each other. These feelings lead to more love and happiness.
In couples therapy we don’t just want to fix what’s broken, but also help you build a healthier relationship. Therefore it’s important to look beyond your everyday arguments so you can better understand what drives you, and your loved one. The process of therapy helps you trust your partner again and see them as a reliable source of comfort and support.
I work with couples in a deeper way. We will start with the problems you bring in, but I will help you see patterns you’re not aware of. I will encourage you to look inside you to understand your feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and history. My training in dynamic experiential models of therapy as well as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) helps me work effectively with couples.