Simple Steps to a Happier Relationship

Simple steps to happier relationshipBe kind

Decades of research on marriages have shown that kindness (combined with emotional intelligence) is the most important factor in a happy marriage. Kindness is like a muscle that becomes stronger when exercised. Make an effort to engage in daily acts of small kindnesses, which will add up to a cumulative effect of thoughtfulness and consideration in your relationship.


We all get stressed out by the demands of daily life and take our irritability and frustration out on our partners. That’s part of being human. And part of being in a day-in-day-out marriage or intimate partnership. The way to keep those little hurts from turning into ongoing relationship resentments is to make a repair. Own your mistakes and say you’re sorry. Continue reading “Simple Steps to a Happier Relationship”

5 Ways Couples Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship

Couples Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship1. Stop the Blame Game and Take Responsibility.

Often, couples present in therapy blaming one another for problems in the relationship. There is a belief that, if only my partner can change his/her behavior everything will be better. Yet, that’s typically not the case: in most relationships both partners contribute to distress and dissatisfaction through their behavior. Therefore, the first step in couples therapy is to stop the blame game and view problems as part of the relational system.

2. Become Aware of Relationship Patterns

Have you ever had an argument about your partner’s handling of a money issue? Only to realize it wasn’t about the spending at all. Couples therapy can help you pull back from everyday problems (what therapists call content) to see the larger recurring patterns in the relationship (what therapists call process). The process of how you communicate with your partner is influenced by your personality, your family of origin, and your previous life experiences. These automatic, learned responses influence every aspect of your relationship – and can lead to a satisfying intimate partnership or a distressing one. Continue reading “5 Ways Couples Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship”