You’ve gotten engaged – congratulations!
As you and your loved one move on to the next stage of your relationship it’s important to build a solid foundation for your marriage. It’s likely that you want to make sure you’re communicating well through all the ups and downs of life, resolving conflicts as they come up, and staying connected with one another. Premarital counseling can help you build on your relationship strengths, as well as improve areas that may need strengthening.
“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” Barnett R. Brickner
My approach to premarital counseling is to help you balance two important human needs: the need for connection and the need for separateness. I draw on attachment theory and research on relationships to help you identify and meet your own feelings and needs, as well as those of your partner.
We will explore what each of you brings to the relationship and how you can be responsive to one another. An attachment-based premarital counseling approach can help you understand what draws you to one another and which traits have the potential for problems. Research shows that to a large extent emotional wellbeing depends on how caring and responsive your loved one is to your feelings and needs. Therefore, we will work on helping you and your loved one maintain a close and mutually respectful connection through the years ahead.
Additionally, we will look at major areas of disagreement in the relationship. Whether you’re arguing about money or the future in-laws, we can explore what feelings and values are really at the core of the difference. Research shows that 70% of all relationship conflict is perpetual – therefore we will look at ways to manage differences that feels respectful to each of you.
As we work together, we will strive to help you improve communication about all areas of your relationship. I help couples learn how to develop an attuned, non-blaming way of relating. Each of you can take responsibility for your feelings, needs, and expectations, and communicate that clearly to your loved one.
Finally, my approach to premarital counseling is secular (non-religious) and accepting of all beliefs and worldviews. I also tailor my approach to the needs of each unique couple: I encourage you to let me know about areas of the relationship you want to work on.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Mignon McLaughlin
As a registered Twogether in Texas provider, I offer an 8-session state-approved premarital counseling program. We will meet for 50-minute sessions once a week for 8 weeks. At the conclusion of 8 hours of premarital counseling you will receive a signed and dated completion certificate which you may present to waive your Texas marriage license fee and 72-hour waiting period. Sessions are conducted privately with each couple.
Through completion of the program it is my hope that you will gain insight, learning, and understanding in the following areas: each person’s history and how it affects the relationship; trust and safety; needs, wants, and expectations of one another; emotional awareness, regulation, and expression; understanding of beliefs and values; and how to handle major areas of disagreement in the relationship.